WaterLily (Joy Estrada) wrote in afriend4u,
Joy Estrada

Bottled up pain

I first started getting bullied in grade school, being taller than most kids, clumsy,nonathletic,fat ,I was different, strange, odd,and dumb.I don't know why people resort to bullying, I just don't understand it and I never will. Looking back I realize I missed out on everything that made childhood fun like friends, parties, excursion, sports. Well not everything, I became a prolific reader, I'd spend hours alone by myself reading .Every once in a while punctuated by terrifying episodes of kids hunting me and bashing me.

Someone once told me I have a face people like to punch. I spent a long time believing that. I used to have girls come up to me and tell me I was ugly and fat. I don't think I"m ugly but I still get upset and defensive if a people compliments me on my face. I had teachers join in on the bullying, it seemed like it was catching or something. I used to get called names quite often in grade school, but I was so young I never really took it in and let it affect me much because I never really understood what they meant when they would say horrible things about me.

When I left school I walk like a hunch back, had severe social anxiety, had a phobia of groups, especially of groups of boys or girls, they were always the worst.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and get revenge on everyone who hurt me, but the reality is they were just kids and they were just being human. I was different and as a species we try to attack that.
Whenever I see someone being bullied i feel like i have the obligation to defend them,because i know how they feel.Some people commit suicide everyday due to bullying.

It was horrible, if you read this and you bully people you won't get your come uppence, you'll just grow up and perhaps regret it and have to deal with and probably support the damaged people you help create and if your bullied I have no advice for you, because I can't really see what I could have done differently to change it. please be strong. I know how difficult it is but there is nothing wrong with you and you will see that once your older. I just want you to put down your head and study and remember that these people are only a part of your life for such a short amount of time. You are going to be okay, don't let them affect you,

I've found that people are more inclined to make ridicule those who hide what they are rather than being what they are. If they do make fun of you for being who you are, screw them. Don't allow them to do dictate your life. Live your own life and be proud of it.
We all have our stories about how we were bullied, and what we did to overcome it and how it ultimately made us who we are today. But I wondered why not make an ode to our individuality, an ode to us? We may all share a similar experience, but we're all unique: Why not embrace it? I'm not asking you to make any revolutionary actions or reinvent the wheel; just be proud of who you are and press on because It'll get better.
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic